It sounds as if the impact on the calls have thus far been minimal - so I don't think you have anything to worry about. An occasional baby gurgling or cooing noise is going to be far less disruptive than a baby screaming in the background because they want to be held and you being distracted with the urge to respond.

Do I ask permission? ("Is it ok if I feed my daughter?")

I'd say no - everyone knows your situation in general terms. Babies don't wait for workplace lunchtimes.

Do I mention it up front? ("Excuse the baby noises, my daughter is in my lap/being fed, etc")

Again I'd say no - you don't, can't know in advance if she's going to have a particularly noisy day. And for the general case, as before, everyone knows your situation and that a baby will be in your vicinity.

Do I only mention it if she makes a noise ("Sorry about that, my daughter is noisy!")

Only if the noise is actually disruptive to the call - say for example you have to ask someone to repeat something because of the noise. And in that scenario it's fine to say something like "Sorry, could you say that again - my daughter made a noise and I didn't catch what you said" - it sounds like most of the time this isn't what's happening though.

Do I just not say anything and ignore her noises?

If they are just in the background and not actually disrupting anything I'd just ignore them.

Do I find some way to work childcare into my already tight budget because this is completely inappropriate?

Unless things change significantly for the worse than what you've described I don't think you need to concern yourself with this. If your work (and those of your colleagues) isn't being significantly impacted then it sounds like the the situation is working as intended - the company gets the benefits of you working earlier than they would have done otherwise and you get the benefits of more time at home with your daughter before returning to the office. If your employer was more of the "Work and babies must never, ever, ever mix!!" persuasion then they probably wouldn't have agreed to your current work-from-home situation in the first place.

PS: Congratulations on the new family member!

Can you afford a noise-cancelling microphone? (Here's one example on Amazon.)

If yes then go buy one.

After you buy one then have another person help you test out its noise-cancelling power since every brand could have different levels of noise-cancelling effect.

You should always mute yourself when you are not speaking but for the times that you do need to speak your microphone can help to mitigate background noises.

If the noises are troublesome then hopefully someone makes you aware that they cannot hear/understand you and you can use that opportunity to briefly apologize.

If the noises are frequently interfering with the meeting then you must figure out a different arrangement for your child during these meetings.

For meetings with your immediate team: don't mention it unless they do, and try to keep on mute during noisy times. If they bring it up, a brief apology or joking it off works. I also work remote full time, and that's how I handle my sometimes-noisy dogs. If you have a headset instead of a microphone that picks up more ambient noise, that helps too.

For higher profile meetings: try to arrange for a babysitter or schedule during naps so you can focus solely on your job. If baby makes a loud noise, apologize when it happens and not in advance.

I would also have a conversation now with your boss about if they expect you to have childcare while you are working, especially when your baby starts crawling around and needing more stimulation. Better to be prepared and start budgeting for it now than be surprised later on.

It depends somewhat on your relationship to the other folks in the meeting, but for routine meetings with team members, I wouldn’t say anything until and unless it becomes a problem for someone. Just use the mute button when you’re not talking and everything should be fine.

For special meetings with higher-ups or new clients, I’d try as hard as possible to hold them during naps, but failing that, I’d still do things the same way: apologize if and only if it becomes necessary.

As everyone has said, for God's sake do not do either of these two

• Do I ask permission? ("Is it ok if I feed my daughter?")




• Do I mention it up front? ("Excuse the baby noises, my daughter is in my lap/being fed, etc")

With this one:

• Do I only mention it if she makes a noise ("Sorry about that, my daughter is noisy!")

If there is unfortunately a noise, just say "oh sorry" and press on. Do NOT say "oh sorry the dog barked / baby woke / UPS arrived". It's wholly annoying.

• Do I find some way to work childcare into my already tight budget because this is completely inappropriate?

Unfortunately, do not dismiss this. Your AAAAA priority is keeping your career absolutely on track. Be aware, let us say, that in some situations this would indeed be the answer. Example: you find yourself in a higher paying remote job (yay!); then yes, you need some sort of au pair, a local teenager who is there some hours, or the like.

On the technical front:

1. as everyone has said, get good at using the mute button

2. it could be (I don't know - let's hear from a geeky audio expert) that one of those headset microphones has some sort of noise cancelling effect, or at least reduces ambient noise

Now, as everyone has said:

You need to talk to your boss about this up front now!

Naturally, you then ask ......

But Fattie, what language do I use?

You want to keep it minimal, clear, professional and a fait accompli.

Do NOT beg or ask for favors. Do NOT minimize the situation - but do not maximize it.

DO NOT specifically mention "feeding" or "breast feeding" - just "baby noise in general".

Example emails:

"Hey Steve, one thing. As you know I now have the baby. This is great as I'm working harder than ever - no distractions, no going out! One thing Im concerned about - what if there's ever some baby noise in the background, when we're having a call with the guys? Would you give me your thoughts on this?

or what about

"Hey Steve, I have a concern about our daily calls. As you know there's a baby in my house here now! Im concerned ... what if there's ever some baby noise in the background, when we're having a call with the guys? As you know I'm more dedicated to the project than ever now there's a baby around - but this one thing has me nervous. I'd die if there was some sudden baby noise during a call - can you give me your thoughts?

(As always in negotiation, end with a question to the other party.)

Notice you are being

• Brief - BREIF, BRIEF, BRIEF, do not make this an issue. It isn't


• Overboard with positveness


• NOT mentioning detail like the "type" of noise


• as always, end with a question

You should essentially send one of these emails or texts now today. (It's 12 in Dallas!) If using skype/chat whatever, I'd possibly send it on the everyone channel, but addressed to "Steve" (Boss) as here - it makes it less dramatic and includes everyone.

I'd give more examples but I have to go help some adult babies! :O

One thing worth noting is that breast-feeding sometimes isn't enough and the babies keep crying and seem needy. usually an extra bottle is enough, sometimes it's just a few milliliters they need.

About the question: I would wait until you have a really noisy episode and then ask "sorry, is it too loud? the baby is very hungry today." but in general that is more distracting than if you just ignore it and repeat the part that probably got lost. Too many explanations and excuses will distract everyone, so just go like "We should use framework XY because it has ... SLUUURP ... because it has features A, B and C while the other frameworks usua .... SLUUUUUUURP .. usually have only two of them."

After having conferences with customers who had their windows open all the time near a fire station. My coworker kept asking if I watch movies because he could hear the fire trucks through my headphones. Some baby noises seem like nothing compared to that.

About daycare: Not all, but some kids are just not happy if you leave them too early in daycare, so you should have a plan B. Our parents were sometimes watching our baby and always said it's fine and look it's sleeping, but one day we came home earlier and it was crying nonstop and they admitted that it cried itself to sleep every time. Wouldn't trust the daycare center that "all is good" without staying a few days there (usually in the next room) and checking how it goes.

Noise Canceling Headsets and Directional Microphones are your friend!!!!! I've been doing the caregiver/assisted living thing for my parents for the last 20 years and while most employers are understanding about the reasons one has for working from home, it can be helpful in general to have good audio equipment for that. Personally I use a directional Mic with a squelch filter on my usb audio interface with a foot pedal on my desktop, and a noise canceling truckdrivers headset on my laptop, the advantage of my desktop setup is I can have my hands full and still be able to mute/unmute myself and even when unmuted the directional nature of the mic gives me quite a in front of it. Just make sure you find someone to give you feedback for setting your level and such and that will mitigate quite a few of the background noise problems.

Also, mention your situation to your boss/coworkers for whatever level you feel comfortable with.

I totally agree with the mute/better microphone advice, that'll minimize any noises. And I would also totally mention up front that the baby might wake up, and that you'll try to minimize any related noise. Not as in asking for permission, as in simple information.

But there's another angle to your question. You're talking to Texas? Are you aware that it's only recently that breastfeeding in public has been legal in every US state? And the South has been lagging way behind, due to some messed-up confusion in good ol'boys about the real function of breasts. So while I wouldn't worry too much about baby noises, if I were you I'd strenuously avoid mentioning any actual breastfeeding, especially while it's in progress..